yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
lol hangovers are for mortals.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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