She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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