Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Randomize
