is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
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