My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
