There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
jump out the window naked night went bad
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize