the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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