hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
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