He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I love you.
Bad choice
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
