U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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