nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
