he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
