allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
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