Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize