wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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