Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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