Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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