Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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