just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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