Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
