I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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