your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
