I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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