Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
