WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize