His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
