My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize
