I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
