Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
