its not stalking. its research.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Randomize
