I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
you have to choose: penises or morals?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
