if you like me you must not know who I am
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
