I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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