I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Damn victory sex feels great
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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