Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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