Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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