covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
