dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
