and i looked up. we had an audience...
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
No subtext here. People are naked.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
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