I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I can't turn off my feet"
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
