I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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