definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
