Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
