Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
