I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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