He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
