Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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