fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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