Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
