If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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