and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Randomize
