I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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