Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Randomize
