if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
