drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
