Fuck appropriateness.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize