this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
