It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
We left the knife in your bed.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
