This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
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